When I chose this month as a topic I wanted to work on, I was thinking of Japanese maven of joyful cleaning, Marie Kondo’s whimsical and maybe a bit OCD book (all respect to actual OCD’ers,) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. For those who haven’t heard of this book, it’s a lovely little foray into the life and mind of someone who is a highly effective space organizer and who may or may not have actual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. (For the record, despite my Virgo classification, I am NOT a highly effective space organizer when it comes to my space. I’m great with other people’s stuff, but not mine.) As the month’s exploration went on, I realized it was not just my external environment I was working on; it was also my internal environment. Like a cleanse for both the mind and the closet to help me simplify my life. I am so adept at filling my day with so many things, so many thoughts, but what of that actually moves me toward the places I want to end up? Let’s discuss, shall we?
I think we all know that our lives flow a bit easier when our house is in order; at least mine does anyway. It’s like a clean flow of creativity and positive energy when my house is clutter-free. That said, I live with three other people who may or may not clean up after themselves, a behavior likely influenced by my own on-again, off-again relationship with cleaning efficacy. This month reinforced the idea that with cleaning must come patience – understanding that we sometimes get it all done in slow order and that it’s a job that keeps undoing itself - the effort is constant. All the work of the past few months comes into play here – be aware of places where change is necessary, but be kind and patient with myself and my family and accept the state of things as they are so that I don’t go crazy “shoulding” all over myself when my reality doesn’t match my expectations. This requires a lot of effort for me and in many ways, this month’s exploration has been one of the biggest challenges in the practice of “A Year At My Best.”
One thing I realized in talking with all my fellow adults about this very topic – The Clean House – is that my story is not unique. This is a topic as ubiquitous as the weather, you can talk to just about anyone about it and you will find common ground in the field of frustration and dissatisfaction. Even my mother-in-law, who is the very personification of super-accomplished Housewife, gets frustrated with the unending hell of keeping a house. I think this basic fact accounts for the wild success of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. We’re all looking for answers, for a prescription, for some kind of guidance into the world of having our house in order. Has her book helped me personally? Absolutely. Kondo lays out, in quirkily-translated splendor, the steps one could take to help keep the stuff you need to keep (“it sparks joy,”) and deftly remove the stuff you don’t (“it doesn’t spark joy.”) Her approach is lovely because it breaks things down into cleaning through sections, rather than rooms. The approach is a new way of looking at things for those of us who have no rhyme or reason to how we organize. Generally, I don’t know where to start, so I simply don’t start. This book gave me a place to start and that was very helpful. But it also gave me deep insight into the process of managing expectations. They say no one has ever laid on their deathbed and said “I wished I kept a tidier house.” Perspective is key.
In a recent meditation class I attended, the facilitator talks about the concept of ownership. When we look at material possessions and by extension, thoughts and emotions, we can ask ourselves: are we really the owner of this? Similar to Kondo’s ‘Sparking Joy’ concept - looking at something and really deeply considering if you are the one who should own this - is a helpful way of stripping away the excess. I have come to realize, how much stuff we have in our house. (The privilege that allows me to write that sentence is not lost on me, by the way.) How much of this could go to someone else who needs it more than I? The same for the excess thoughts that clutter my mind – how much of this do I need to hold onto? Am I the owner of these thoughts or has the muddle of everyone else’s voices drowned out my own? Where can we look at our material mess as a physical manifestation of our own internal mess? Is that even the case for you? Sometimes, I think it might be for me.
I once read some advice from a writer that said each line in a story must either develop character or move the story forward. Certainly this sentence has permeated everything I looked at this month. In decluttering my home, I help declutter my mind and I’m motivated by these simple questions – does it spark joy? And further to that – does it develop my character? Does it move the story forward?
Until next time, dear reader – let’s clean up!
My cleaning solution recipe added to a spray bottle has been cleaning household surfaces in my house for years. It goes without saying that part of being a Holistic Nutrition girl means keeping my environment as non-toxic as possible. There are things in my home (carpet, shitty windows, etc.) that are what they are until they can be changed, but using health-friendly cleaners and replacing old non-health promoting products with healthier choices is a simple improvement I can make in my environment.